As usual, I didn’t mean to be away for so long, but here we are. I guess I’m consistent in my inconsistency.
I’ve been thinking about a lot of things with regard to my writing life lately. I’ve been in a creative rut, which had at least part of the reason behind it being the failure of my goal from last year. But I believe I had been blocked by energies being focused in areas that ran contrary to me being excited about writing.
I’ve love to be able to report that I’ve soared through putting twenty of thirty thousand words on the page lately, but that hasn’t been the case, unfortunately. I have joined a lot of people this month in April declaring the intent to work on a project that may or may not be affiliated with an organization that promotes writing during various months of the year. However, not having a specific goal, despite having a bit of a deadline, hasn’t resulted in much generation of words. It looks like, aside from some tweaks to the manuscript, I’ve written thirty-six total words this month. That’s just over three a day average.
I’d like to think things will turn around as the fate of my critique group also turns around after losing two members (one removed, the other leaving of her own choice, to potentially return at some point). We nearly collapsed, and honestly, there’s the chance we still might for all I know. There’s a part of me that feels like this would be another failure on my shoulders, even if groups evolve and wax and wane over time. Maybe we’ll survive on our own. Maybe we’ll combine with another group. That’s to be seen. But as we take a break from critiques to focus back on writing, for me at least that hasn’t resulted into much.
I wonder if, as I keep getting emails, if I should participate in a writing contest again after doing so many during 2022. I had several ideas from those prompts that I wanted to expand to bigger stories, including the one I managed to do so in the form of my Historical Fiction novel. (I’m hoping to use the big writing month of this year to rewrite that, but whether that will happen as planned is to be seen.) Being forced to sink or swim over a weekend might not be so bad again.
Although I do have a challenge within the associated writing groups, though I have until the end of May to get it done. I’d like to think I’ll let creativity wash over me and get me back in the game, but I’m still not sure. Maybe I need to get down to the wire before the juices get flowing again.
Realistically, however, despite not getting much writing done, I’ve been regularly reminded by so many things swirling around me that there’s no substitute for actually sitting down to write, and on the other end of the spectrum, also taking the time to read. You can’t get better at writing if you don’t take the time and make the effort to get better. There are no shortcuts to that. You have to put in the work. Even when, and especially when, it’s difficult to do so. Writer’s block stinks when it strikes, and lately I’ve been in a major snowstorm of it, but you’ll die if you don’t keep trying to push your way through.
That also goes with reading. You can’t know how stories are structured (and why they are) if you aren’t looking at what’s out there. You can learn about character development, conflict, and so much more by taking a look at any of a million different options at a library or bookstore. And then try out what you learn by combining elements in new ways. Even if you fail, at least you tried.
Sometimes I wonder if I should have gone into some other line of work. I have a greater aptitude in math than I do in English, as evidenced by various tests over the years (ACT and GRE in particular). Would I be as happy if I became an engineer or scientist or something, and used my brain to solve problems or work out specifications instead of create fictional worlds?
Maybe, but it’s not like I can turn back time, much like Cher couldn’t in that song of hers. It’s nice to consider, but when it comes down to it, I can’t not write. It’s just so much of who I am. I might go through periods where I don’t put much down on the page, but even when I get bogged down in some really crappy prose, I end up coming out of it better overall. It’s the great thing about the process.
And much like I’ve been having difficulty getting started on something, I also can’t seem to bring something properly to a close. So, bye!